quetzalzotz: (Crystals)
When the shop didn't have a black tourmaline egg, Percival didn't choose tumbled pieces, or a sphere. He then gravitated to a wand. At the time I didn't think much of it, but now...think about it.

Black tourmaline offers protection and helps manage fear, right?

And Grindelwald stole his wand, right?

So of course he'd gravitate to it. It's incredibly symbolic. His wand couldn't save him the first time.

Thoughts

Apr. 21st, 2017 09:19 pm
quetzalzotz: (Default)
My exams are over, I should have passed all my courses (but SOME profs are lacking in their grading), but honesty that's not even the first thing on my mind right now.

Maybe I'm just exhausted and anxious from exams and need some rest so it's on my mind. The more I read my spirituality books and do things that connect me to that, such as crystal shopping today, the more I realize just how much I wanted to be handed some kind of perfect system. I wanted to be given a perfect guidebook on how to Be A Pagan, with someone telling me what all my little feelings meant. I wanted this probably because I didn't trust myself.

Now I know more of what I want. I don't want to do rituals, at least right now. I want to make little knowledgey, pagany files on my headmates, with power animals and full astrological charts. That's practice to me, not rituals, especially ones I don't personally agree with. I think everyone knows the story of the crazy fucking cult.

I want to grow herbs indoors (except I have no natural light so I actually can't). Me. Growing something. I killed a cactus. I KILLED AN ALOE.

The problem is feelings like this make me long for a place I can't go to, so I'm going to go back to writing just absolute torture porn and whump, because maybe I'll feel something that isn't a coffee induced madness.

Thoughts

Oct. 30th, 2016 04:24 pm
quetzalzotz: (Default)
I got my kindle organized last night, with all my Pagan books and PDFs. My initial thought was to read them, each one, making notes and things, and eventually posting about them here. PDFs will probably be shorter, and books will be longer.

At the beginning of this week, that felt like a good idea.

But tomorrow I'm back in school, full time, after a week break. And this half of the semester is loaded up with two major group projects, a large essay, plus hours spent learning math and accounting.

Maybe I'm just depressed, so I'm negative. Maybe I shouldn't worry about a time frame, and just work when I feel up to it.

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quetzalzotz

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