Oct. 27th, 2016 08:49 pm
quetzalzotz: (Default)
I’ve been struggling with how to write this post. Do I start at the beginning where I didn’t feel like I fit in with Christianity? Do I talk about how I love mythology? Do I try to encompass everything?

I’ve been a Pagan on and off for years now. Every time I’d meet someone who I thought would help, eventually they ended up hurting me, and turning me off practice for a long time.

First was Crazy Pagan Girl, as I called her before I knew her name. We met in high school, and she had long black hair, doc martins, and wore a pentacle. She introduced me to Wicca and Paganism. She was my best friend.

Until she tried to stage an intervention because I’m a soulbonder.

Shortly before this, I met another woman, also Wiccan, who told me about soulbonding.

We were great together. We were best friends, we were like family.

And she turned me off paganism for almost two years. She and he coven had discovered their own path, and she worked tirelessly to get me to join in, even though I didn’t feel like it truly fit me. My alien encounters had to be encounters with their fae, their concept of “familiars” meant soulbonds and most of my people weren’t comfortable with that. But I was so afraid of her, of losing this family, that I did what I had to.

So then when I moved, I got rid of a lot of stuff I had never unpacked, like my pagan stuff. But I kept a lot of it, because it was still important to me. I still wanted to use it, somehow.

So now I’m feeling things again, and seeing what will happen. I don’t know how it’ll go, but we’ll see I guess.


quetzalzotz: (Default)

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