Crash

[quetzalzotz]

Two posts whaaaat?

I have accomplished nothing this evening, but I did want to talk a little bit about why I think things might be rekindled.

Not too long ago, a few weeks, my computer crashed. I lost all the Pagan stuff I had accumulated over the years. I lost PDFs, I lost notes, I lost a lot.

I still have all my print books, and my Kindle books. I have my tarot decks and anything I have posted on my old Pagan journal.

But this is a pretty big clean start. I mean, I have nothing. It's like starting from the beginning, before things went south.

So I think this might be really good. I might keep browsing a couple of the tumblrs I bookmarked already. But that's also problematic. I ran into that trap last time I did this. I would try to obsessively gather information, but never actually put it together. So I don't want to do that.

My fear was always finding something that contradicted other information, or found more information, and I'd miss something important. I was born nosy like that. But I think I have to try to wean myself off that, and, I don't know, do something? 

The problem is I don't really know how to do that. My first pagan friend liked the idea of just writing what I know, not going through multiple sources. My second also told me to get off my ass but her focus was a lot on rituals and such.

I'm on the fence about rituals and spellwork, and certainly don't enjoy feeling forced into them. To me, part of the experience is writing things out and that part. Maybe I should focus on that part first.

It's weird doing hobbies, like a normal person. I miss the gym but I have a rash that is irritated so I have to lay off a little there. And now I want to add an additional thing of Rune and Tarot readings. Plus school full time, and crochet.

I don't know. I've been writing this post for like an hour.