Shopping with Percival

So I don't purposefully assign or find crystals for headmates, but sometimes they find ones they like. Jojen, for example, had a green adventurine heart.

After my final exam and hair appointment, we went to the crystal store. Percival was just following me around at first, but I noticed he was drawn to the three window crystals they had: Clear quartz, rose quartz, and amethyst. I told him to go through the baskets and pick ones he liked.


I told him to look at stuff and see what else he likes. He kept taking me to thinks he knew I liked, and I told him to put me aside, and pick what he likes.

He was drawn to egg shaped crystals and to black tourmaline. There was no black tourmaline eggs, but we found a nice wand on sale.

We'll keep our eyes open for an egg, but I found it interesting he was drawn to egg shapes. Eggs are symbols of fertility and new life and rebirth. Black tourmaline is a protection stone, especially against dark energy. It also helps against claustrophobia and fears.

He won't admit it, but he's been having a rough day today. He went through so much, and he's still in a place where he doesn't admit it. So finding himself drawn to this stone is pretty significant.

Another fun aside is that our total came to $66.6(7).

Thoughts

My exams are over, I should have passed all my courses (but SOME profs are lacking in their grading), but honesty that's not even the first thing on my mind right now.

Maybe I'm just exhausted and anxious from exams and need some rest so it's on my mind. The more I read my spirituality books and do things that connect me to that, such as crystal shopping today, the more I realize just how much I wanted to be handed some kind of perfect system. I wanted to be given a perfect guidebook on how to Be A Pagan, with someone telling me what all my little feelings meant. I wanted this probably because I didn't trust myself.

Now I know more of what I want. I don't want to do rituals, at least right now. I want to make little knowledgey, pagany files on my headmates, with power animals and full astrological charts. That's practice to me, not rituals, especially ones I don't personally agree with. I think everyone knows the story of the crazy fucking cult.

I want to grow herbs indoors (except I have no natural light so I actually can't). Me. Growing something. I killed a cactus. I KILLED AN ALOE.

The problem is feelings like this make me long for a place I can't go to, so I'm going to go back to writing just absolute torture porn and whump, because maybe I'll feel something that isn't a coffee induced madness.